Truth Stranger than Fiction for Pour-Howzers
Washington Post
By, Michael Wilbon
December 3, 2007

(Washington, DC) The up and down off-season for the Pour-Howzers continued last night with news that Rookie of the Year runner up Jesse Johnson was arrested outside of Trusty's Bar and Lounge.

Witnesses say Johnson arrived at the bar surrounded by his entorage around 12:30am, but was denied access due to what one bartender called "severe inebriation." Johnson then became physical while demanding drinks for himself and his friends. Even still, bartenders were reluctant to call police due to Johnson's star status, however became alarmed when they noticed blood on his hand.

When police arrived, Johnson had calmed down and was mumbling something about wanting to go to Freddy's in Arlington to meet up with two hot lesbians he met earlier in the night. Freddy's is a tropical themed bar in Crystal City known for being a hang-out spot for the Arlington gay community.

According to police reports, Johnson was questioned about the blood on his hand which he explained off as "nothing serious, I was [slur in-audible] with some girl outside of the Ugly Mug and she asked me to hit her 'down there' so I did, she liked it, but then it bled on my hand, pretty gross." Johnson later added that it's not the first time he's been asked to hit a girl 'down there' for her pleasure.

Police detained Johnson overnight and were able to confirm his explanation for the blood on his hand. The Pour-Howzers have released this statement:

"We are deeply concerned for the health and well-being of Jesse Johnson. He's a good kid with a lot of potential who maybe wasn't quite ready for the pressure that comes from playing in such a demanding media market. We are committed to helping Jesse through this situation and ensuring that he receives the help and counseling he needs."

GM and Coach Justin Kolikof, widely praised for leading the Howzers to their first pennant has come under fire recently for allowing his team to run so ragged during the off-season. Kolikof recently signed a 3 year extension, terms un-disclosed, however the deal is rumored to be the richest for a manager in Cityball history.

This incident is the latest in a string of off-season troubles for the Pour-Howzers. Last month pitcher Matty Mitchell came out and demanded a lucritive contract or a trade, and popular short stop Matt Wiggins and outfielder Cal Callanan have been linked to the Mitchell report due out early next year.