About Face
Howzer Co-Ace Suffers Season Ending Injury

By, Michael Wilbon
Washington Post
July 10, 2008

Robert Edwards, Aaron “Bleepin” Boone…and now you can add Matty Mitchell’s name to this illustrious list of stars who suffered season ending injuries away from the field.

Last night, Mitchell was participating in a non-Cityball exhibition game when he hit a slow grounder to second.  Rather than throw the ball to first for the out, the second baseman inexplicably ran to first for the put out and collided with Mitchell.

The head on blow knocked Matty unconscious for 30 seconds.  Mitchell was carted off to GW Hospital where MRI’s were negative for any brain damage.  However, Mitchell suffered lacerations to his face and may have a broken eye socket.  At press time, Mitchell was still undergoing treatment for what doctors are calling quote “horrible disfigurement – think Phantom of the Opera…only worse.”

Mitchell has yet to release a statement, but could be heard wailing from the Emergency Room, “MY FACE…MY BEAUTIFUL FACE…NOOOOO….”

Pour-Howzers officials have released the following statement:

“Last night a member of our team, our family, Matty Mitchell suffered a collision on the softball diamond.  At this time, we are more concerned with Matty’s well being than his ability to take the field.  That said, the long term prognosis looks good, and we are hopeful Matty can make a full recovery.  We ask for your prayers for Matty and his family at this time.”

Howzer captain Justin Kolikof was said to be particularly shook up upon hearing the news…he and Mitchell have grown close over the years going so far as to found multiple charity initiatives such as “Livers for Drunks” and “Get Home Safe – Please Walk from Trusty’s” to give back to the Pour House community.

While team management has focused on supporting Mitchell through this ordeal…ownership has quietly expressed disappointment.  Mitchell signed a lucrative 3 year contract last winter with explicit “non-compete” clauses inserted.  Anonymous sources indicated that Pour House owner Colin is looking into legal remedies to recoup Matty’s salary for this upcoming season.  That or working with Mitchell and his agent Scott Boras to void this season and extend the original deal through Spring 2009.

Meanwhile, the injury means Mitchell will start the season on the 60 day DL, clearing room for recently resigned Nick Vockrodt.  Vockrodt was originally to start the season in AA Trusty’s to regain his form.

“I hate that an injury is the reason I got called up, you never root for an injury…but these things happen and when your time comes you have to be ready to help the team.  I’m excited for the opportunity to prove myself…you can’t replace a Matt Mitchell, but I’ll do my best to help the squad,” Vockrodt was quoted as saying.

Our wishes to Matty Mitchell for a safe and speedy recovery.